Procrastination

Ok, so everyone always gripes at how bad it is to procrastinate, how you'll never get anything done, blah blah blah....

Typically i agree on this, and I'm possibly one of the worst procrastinators (those of you who knew me in college would likely agree on this). But lately, I've been thinking...

Is there a good procrastination?

I personally, think that a bit of procrastination can be good from time to time.
Having moved back to essex and currently not having a job, im finding most of my day filled with helping around the house and being at the computer. Generally, this means playing computer games from the time i get up to the time i go to bed (and im sure that soon i will get back to that, but thats an event for another time)... However, these days my gaming habit seems to be on the back-burner to society...

Lemme explain a bit more - The reason im not sitting playing games right now is because im far too occupied with talking to everyone i can manage to, procrastinating from playing with my little furry... badger... hmmm
And now chatting lots to people from across the world and organising my eventful return to a life that i never quite maintained while i was with my ex

Truth be told, its a little worrying that my new self is reaching back to my past self but im hopeful that this means im getting back to the old me before the events of the last year and a half - maybe a little less slutty though (though maybe not)

But yes, all this strange self discovery doesnt come at a cost though... I'm still being a terribly flirty person which may come back and bite me in the ass before i know it, but i guess i'll have to see what happens, when it happens. Still a bit screwed up over certain things, but i think its gonna slowly get better - Its all about time and healing as they say... im just impatient!

So back to the topic at hand, all of this happening would count as procrastinating from my interest in gaming... so does procrastination like this (with all its benefits built into it) count towards something that is ultimately good? Answers on a postcard please :P

I think that's all for now.... byeeeeeeeeee :)

Back in essex, but certainly not back in time

Well yesterday i made the move back from bristol and its gaming stores and great friends, back to essex

Dont get me wrong, i'm glad to be back here with my other friends again, but damned if this is how i wanted to return here

Adding into these sickeningly familiar surroundings and inhabitants, lets throw in an old home - Perfectly normal and simple to the outside, but on walking in, everything is different. Not just a splash of paint and some new bedding, but the attitudes, the family, even the pet. People grow older, personalities change, and families drift apart. And here is a prime example of that

I suppose the only thing thats truely changed may actually be me. Im not the same pup i was when i left to go live in a big city 180miles from home anymore. Im no longer in a relationship for one startling difference!

Though that adds as a point in my life right now - What my future is and where im gonna be in it. Until a few weeks ago i had my life planned, or at least had some security. Being single is scary for me right now and my brain doesnt seem to handle it properly :(

Have you ever wished for a period of your life back? Thats the feeling i have been having lately, hoping that if i could make it happen maybe i wouldnt hurt, or even prepare myself for the inevitable! I provide my first poetry entry for you now before moving on to something less depressing....

Thought I was strong.
Believed I could do it.
Yet now there is doubt.
Do I really want this?

I wrote all the poems;
My anger on a page.
Now there’s emptiness here,
But why do I feel it?

Can it truely be,
That I miss you now?
Your hand in mine;
Is it only your hand I need?

Torn up inside,
My soul is yearning,
As my mind screams.
What am I doing?

Maybe I need a man,
But is this new guy,
Really the one,
Or is it just lust?

The question remains.
Still, I’ve no answer.
What solution is there?
Can’t I cut out this heartache?

In a crowded place,
I still search for you.
Is this really ok,
Or am I going insane?

Is love truely gone,
Even though seeing you,
Still ignites a spark?
Should I move first?

Dive into my heart,
So cracked and torn.
Years of heartbreak;
Are they taking their toll?

Life is not so full,
My future now,
An uncertain decision.
Is this your doing?

My only solution,
May cause my destruction.
To be in your arms;
Will this make it worse?

So on a lighter side, planning has long begun and continues in the production of my first World of Darkness campaign - Cthulhu meets aveley in an orgy of tentacles, cults and corruption :)

Now spending my time organising to meet up with varying friends here and there to try and catch up on the last 5 months of my absence, along with preparing myself to hurtle into the world of craft and making my first tail and arms.

Procrastination is my best friend for now however as i avoid the unpacking of my life - Maybe that would help with afforementioned oh-so-emo entry

Looking forward to meeting some old friends, and potentially even getting back to bristol to say hi to some new ones, along with attempting to drag some friends here from over the uk to say hi and huggle

The difference in sex

Sex... It always comes down to sex

But what do you call it? There's plenty of words out there for it (shagging, getting laid, the horizontal tango, bumping uglies), but the most common word these days seems to be "fucking"

Now call me old fashioned, but what ever happened to just "making love"? None of this slutty 'hey there! you're hot, im drunk, lets go' business in the clubs for me. If im having it, i want it to be special...

Anyone who knows me will know i recently just left a relationship with someone i loved for a long time, and im sure i'll talk about that later on, but at no time would i ever want someone to ask me 'how often do you get fucked?'  This is for a couple of reasons though....
1) Privacy much?! Seriously, how intruding do ya wanna get to ask someone that?? If i really wanted to talk about it, i would bring it up over a bag of buttons at a party somewhere
2) As stated earlier, i feel the word "fucking" implies a level of sluttiness that i just dont like to appear in a relationship

Right! Now that's out of the way, i think i ought to get to some chatter about other aspects of life. After a long break, i think its time to get back to writing again. I intend to start with poetry and wondering if i ought to post some of the old stuff up with the new - What are people's thoughts on this? Care to take a glimpse into the depraved mind of Skittles? :)

The first time is always the hardest

Well since my video-blogging days are made of epic fail, i think its about time i moved into the text blogging business.

Let's start with the introductions, shall we?
My name is Skittles, and I will be your guide into the chaos of my brain. I'm a gay furry (a husky pup mixed with striped cheetah kitten) and enjoy life for the most part. You might have guessed im crap at describing myself by now (deal with it) but the kind of person i am should become clearer over time anyway so keep reading, and maybe you'll learn some more :)

Now im sure you're probably thinking "Get on with that damned blogging already" (and if not, then damn you're patient) so I guess now is the time to explain what this whole thing's about. The plan is to keep people updated on my life, as well as my works as they get done - What works? Well there will be poetry, painting, craftwork, and maybe even brownies if im feeling nice! Got your attention now aye? ;)

Well having said not much, i think its time to vanish for a little bit. Remember to check back for the latest in my life as it comes!